Feeling February
February is the desolate forest of months. It's threadbare tree branches and crunched ice underfoot. It's frozen lakes and frosty breaths. Every snatched sound carries a quietly yearning reverb. I wonder what my ancestors did with this empty time. Did they huddle tightly in cave corners? Cramped and aching. Hiding from the biting wind. Did they have to hunt for survival? Chancing piercing rain and numb limbs for the hope of a hearty meal. Returning with hollow bellies and empty hearts. How did they survive? How do we?
When you spend time in the quieter harsher places though, you also start to appreciate the different space for reflection they provide. There is a deep joy to be found in the lonely things. Listening to the whisper of wind as it starts chewing at your cheeks. Watching a subtle frost creep outward over days. Feeling the cool barks of tired trees, still gripping onto the idea of spring.
I also find that my gaming habit changes temporarily during winter. I often play games which echo the melancholic nature of the season. Not to amplify it, but to lessen the loneliness of it. We're all here together in dealing with those feelings of isolation and barrenness. There are stories to explore and thoughts to be had here. Melancholy is a distinct human emotion and in many ways, it's one which helps explore and understand our deepest selves. What do we long for when it's cold and lonely and yet still somehow all so beautiful?
I think it's a fragile balance. There are parts of this forest where you can lose yourself. We need to step carefully onto the lakes. Stay too long, push too hard, the frozen sheet cracks. Maybe we can fall under. Instead we can tentatively tread a short distance in, enjoy our moment in the sharp bitter air, and then retreat to warm fires and solid caves and comforting embraces.
Where I've Tread in February
🎮Gylt - An empty school in an empty town and things haunting the corridors. It wasn't as cute a horror as I suspected. The core themes of bullying were encased in a much more terrifying feeling of lostness for me.
🎮Her Trees: Puzzle Dream - Delightfully hand drawn puzzles. Twigs and leaves and bugs and nature inspire many of them. There's a childlike scribble to it all and a lot of solitary aha moments. I love the monochrome vibe.
📖There is no Anti Memetics Division - A small section of a collective SCP writing project becomes good enough to be published. I struggled with the style at first but the concepts and monsters described were so delicious to ponder on. Are you sure you haven't read this before? Were they with you the first time?
📺Under Salt Marsh - A tragic mystery on a small, Welsh, tide-locked island. I absolutely loved the constant visual metaphors using the weather and the tides to echo every theme and twist. A hauntingly great theme tune too.
📺Pluribus - I remember waking up on quiet mornings sometimes and wondering if some calamitous fate had overtaken the world. This show gives me that same feeling except full of funny and delightful and tragic moments. Rhea Seehorn absolutely smashes the role.
P.S. If you enjoyed these musings, it's very much inspired by Megan Bidmead's Silly Thoughts series.
